Living Life As A Robot

No, I have not yet achieved true robo-dom but would like to. And when I say robo-dom, I'm not talking about the metallic machines that walk around and are pretty much a glorified wrench. That would be impossible for me to become, unless something happens to me like Cyborg from Teen Titans and I HAVE to become a human-robot hybrid to survive... and maybe we lived in the Sci-fi universe. Though I don't think we're that far off nowadays.

I'm talking about the human-like robots -- androids if you'd like -- that hide their emotions either because they have yet to somehow develop them, or truly don't have any.

Robots have always appealed to me. I think my first favorite robot ever was J-5 from Blankman (terrible movie, but amusing nonetheless.) Among my other favorites are C-3P0, R2-D2, Data from Star Trek and others that I can't think of the name right now.

Why?

Because they could pretty much do anything or make me laugh because everything is so analytical to them. A robot is a machine designed to crunch numbers and look at things logically. There is no need for emotions.

That would help in situations that scare the shit out of me.

1. In situations where I have to interact with other people (i.e. work)

• This is probably two spaces under my fear of spiders in my moderately sized list of phobias. It's not that I can't function around people. I like to think I'm the nicest person when ringing up people and make small talk when I deem fit. However, on a one on one level, like speaking to a coworker, I get a headache and my eyes tend to dart everywhere. It's not because I think they're boring and/or obnoxious, but that I want to go back to my comfort zone. 
• Robots don't have these feelings. Instead of thinking about what to say, they just rattle out the first logical response. No headaches, or anxiety issues there. They don't care what the other person thinks either because they have no feelings to hurt. And well, if they do, then who the eff cares. They can fly, are extremely knowledgeable, fix impossible things, shoot lasers from their eyes and have super strength... what's that human got?

2.  In high school

• I had about fifty or more boyfriends during those dreadful four years... in my mind, and I admit that some of them were teachers. Go ahead, laugh at how pathetic I am. I don't care... much. My friends would attest to the number of guys I was "so in love with". It was like every week they would hear about the new guy who either was nice to me, mean to me, or was so awkwardly adorable that he couldn't even speak to me.
• Robots meet a new person and don't immediately fall in what they think is love. A new person is a new person to a robot and they're treated just like anybody else. Let's say you get one of those robots who can fall in love like XJ-9 from My Life as a Teenage Robot or even Bender from Futurama (he did fall in love once or twice), they can hide it well. Well, maybe XJ-9 couldn't.

3. When facing a spider or locking yourself in a dark room

• I don't really have to explain this one. Robot's are not scared. End of story.

What should you take away from the above?

 

Robot's don't  have emotions or feelings... well the classic robot doesn't at least.

Here is this one good reason to be stoic and robotic. However, you don't want to be too robot-y or adopt the negative characteristics.

1. Hiding emotions is okay in embarrassing settings, but you don't want to hide them when, say, you actually do fall in love or your kid is having his birthday party. You don't want to look like a bore.

2. Robot's have no sense of humor... except for Bender. Generally, they don't understand that a person is trying to be funny or ask a rhetorical question.

3. They come off as arrogant know-it-alls and remember, robots treat everyone the same. Because they have no feelings, or just don't care about feelings, they assume the breathing, thinking human doesn't either.

So, that's sort of a how-to on having the emotional state of a robot. Please, don't take this with a bajillion grains of salt... it would be pretty silly of you to do so.

And now, I am going to sleep. If you can't understand this then you know it's due to my thoughts going a mile a minute and my sleep-deprived mind.